I make it easily to the other side, patting my horse’s neck fondly, then turn back to check on Varrick’s progress. If I could read his horse’s mind, I’m certain I’d learn that he has concluded with certainty that the river contains a ravenous monster. And Varrick is… handling it in the way that Varrick handles most things.
I shout across, “Have you considered threatening him with a chat if he doesn’t listen?”
Varrick looks straight at me and, even across the river, I can tell he’s counting. Or breathing. Or whatever else he does when I annoy him. That, frankly, doesn’t seem like any of my business. I get off my horse, allowing us both a moment of rest while I watch Varrick struggle with his mount. Then his horse rears and I can hear Varrick cursing at the animal, real frustration in his voice. I sigh, remounting my horse and moving back across the river. I jump off my horse and walk over to his.
“Princess, be careful. He’s decided to be a pain in the ass.”
I narrow my eyes, flicking my gaze from the horse to Varrick. They both appear tenser than I’ve ever seen them. “Get off.”
Varrick looks surprised. “What?”
“Get off the horse, Varrick.”
“Just… give me a minute. He needs to know that he can’t panic and get rewarded for it.”
“Varrick. Please get off the fucking horse.”
His mouth falls open as he stares at me. I think I’ve shocked him so badly that he doesn’t even have a witty rebuttal. Good. He tosses me the reins. “Don’t let him throw me and bolt.”
I feel an odd warmth at him trusting me with a task like this, even if it’s out of irritation. When he finally gets off the horse, I give in to its panic, just a little. I allow it to back up about ten steps.
“Princess. Don’t let him pull you around.”
“He’s not pulling me. Shush for a minute.”
The horse’s sides are heaving and he’s lathered in sweat. I take a deep breath and walk over to his face, pulling it down so I can rub his nose. He tries to yank out of my hold once, but I shush him.
“Oh come on. All that over some water? Your friend survived, see? And I survived and I’m way smaller than you.”
I turn him around his own shoulder, trying to get him unstuck. “And that terrible man was calling you mean names and being a big brute, wasn’t he?”
Varrick shakes his head with a long-suffering expression.
“Let’s just go touch the water. We don’t even have to cross.” I look at Varrick and gesture for him to get up on my horse. “We’ll walk right next to your friend here and you’ll see that there’s nothing very scary about this place.”
I move forward, feeling confident as the horse puts his nose near the river. Excellent, just a little more and you’ll realize you aren’t about to die. I take a step into the river and all the tension returns to the horse. This might… be humiliating in the end. I urge him forward, speaking kindly to him and proving that I have not yet been eaten by a river monster despite my foot being firmly in the river. I step out of the river, circling him around and around until his hoof accidentally splashes against a puddle of water. I freeze. The horse freezes. And nobody dies. I’m able to urge him forward one more step. Then another and finally we manage to get into the middle of the river without either of us being snatched up by a tentacled, horse-eating beast.
But I don’t have any sense of victory left within me as I shiver in the middle of the river, dragging this horse step by exhausting step through his terror. My legs are soaked to my mid thigh in freezing water. As we approach the shore, the horse I’d been dragging suddenly surges forward and yanks my shoulder hard enough to make me swear. I get him back under control just in time for him to give a full body shake, splashing water over the limited bits of clothes that had remained dry. I march up to Varrick and shove the reins into his hands.
“Take your coward horse.”
As I storm away, Varrick has the good sense not to laugh but he does call out after me. “Now he’s a coward? After all that coddling?”
I turn back on him, shooting a glare at the horse for a second before taking a breath.
“I don’t have to agree there’s a monster in the river to believe his fear is real.”
It’s a cute little love story… not a commentary on showing up for people as they’re hurting.
It’s a horse… not a metaphor for the trauma responses we carry that no longer serve us.
Believe me, when Revenance of Stars does come out, no one will suffer any
emotional damage whatsoever… I’m a professional. You can trust me.
Excerpt from Revenance of Stars
Shieldbound Universe
By: Meris Rosewick
Work in Progress
